Is this gothic
shelbo
,
Sunday, 8th of August 2010 04:18:06 AM
Waltz around a Coffin Off comes the ancient yellow linen shelbo />Which graced a rotted shrine!
Thrown by the dancers onto the Registered User earth,
It falls, decayed, behind!
Now bared be the coffin Joined: Tuesday, 25th of May 2010, 17:52:39 once covered!
But still their graceful waltz
Does not cease but Posts: 834 continues round,
Unrestrained by ballroom walls!
Round and Viewed 4667 times round a coffin aged
Do mortals merry dance!
Now at this odd
casket of death
Do humans gleeful glance!
Twirling,
twirling on dying grass,
The women smile and laugh!
Now by this
broken frame of wood
Do dancers pass in hate or love!
The
dance quickens and the rhythm rushes
And all is forgotten the corpse
to bury,
Outside the graveyard the waltz in the marshes
Of Death
an utter mockery!
Krystine...a fellow batcaver? Neat. And thanks for
noting I am not emo.
Loo Loo/Lou Lou
,
Monday, 9th of August 2010 10:03:10 PM
Sorry, just not my thing. Loo Loo/Lou Lou Registered User Joined: Thursday, 29th of April 2010, 09:53:38 Posts: 67 Viewed 2157 times
Jake-a-saur
,
Tuesday, 10th of August 2010 06:18:17 PM
i think this is more of a ''dark'' poem, rather than gothic or Jake-a-saur emo.''dark'' is not a bad thing either, its just a form of poetry Registered User Joined: Friday, 23rd of April 2010, 11:28:37 Posts: 141 Viewed 15126 times
BABY BUGGA-B00
,
Wednesday, 11th of August 2010 08:12:09 PM
Thats pretty good. I would consider it as gothic but its also BABY BUGGA-B00 very well written. Keep writing, its good. Registered User Joined: Saturday, 5th of June 2010, 14:07:02 Posts: 1625 Viewed 11227 times
honey bee.:)
,
Thursday, 12th of August 2010 12:27:25 AM
I self-deprecatingly laugh at ur overly cliched poem that honey bee.:) self-deprecatingly pokes fun at gothic cliches. Registered User Joined: Tuesday, 1st of June 2010, 21:10:02 Well done & quite well within what may be considered flowing with gothic Posts: 1002 vein. Viewed 6255 times
You focus on a dark theme (dancing around a corpse), but it also has
self-depracting humor (note especially the last line: ''of Death an utter
mockery''). You also show much appreciation for the darker side of life.
However original, you are making use of a lot of cliches, which can be fun
if you want to make fun of those cliches or just want to use them for ur
own reasons.
Also, because you are not going off emotionally about some minor tragedy,
but celebrating death(!) of all things, it is not emo.
In the end, I, also a batcaver, do in my humble opinion declare this to be
a decent gothic poem.
Johnny Rotten
,
Friday, 13th of August 2010 06:19:38 PM
Pretty much anything referencing the dark side, death, is Johnny Rotten considered gothic, possibly morbid, and dare I say.emo. Registered User Joined: Thursday, 13th of May 2010, 13:46:00 Posts: 1023 Viewed 4354 times
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: 4 guests
|